ComeDown

Today has not been a great day.  In fact, the last week hasn’t.

I’ve been short-tempered, irritable, stressed out at work, and worst of all, paranoid.

I’m on my way off Citalopram, and have been for the last fortnight.  The first few days were OK, I was tired but nothing to really worry about.  Then I got a migraine, which could be down to:

a) working in an office, staring at a screen all day and needing new glasses

b) coming off Citalopram

c) a combination of the two.

So when I got back to work, I’d missed two days and had a lot to catch up on, and not enough time. I felt like the cartoon character on a treadmill where your legs just can’t go fast enough no matter how hard you try.

And I lost my shit. That’s a technical term, by the way.  But I really lost my rag.  And the tiniest of things have been making me mad.  Not just mad, but so frustrated.  I don’t get angry – I’m not an angry person.  I’m more of a, get really frustrated and cry and make a fool out of yourself, kind of person.

I haven’t been sleeping that well either, which is probably another result of the comedown, but certainly isn’t helping things.

Anyway, the blog is to help me rant, and to get things off my chest, so this is probably the best place to take out my anger and frustration, and paranoia (WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LIKE ME ANYMORE?!) (n.b.they do, i’m just paranoid AF).

On the plus side, losing weight has been a bit easier (given I put all of it on while on the meds), but I just don’t have the energy.  And I want to stuff literally all the carbohydrates in my face.

Swings and roundabouts.

The big problem is it has led to me making a few mistakes at work – silly mistakes, admin errors that don’t cost anything, they just cost time.  I don’t know whether to let my bosses know that I’m currently in this process, or whether to just give myself a slap and try and be a bit more alert.

Eurgh.

Anyone been through a similar thing?  I’d preferably like stories with a happy ending…

 

2 thoughts on “ComeDown

  1. twentysomethingtenacity says:

    Happy story time!

    Citalopram ruined me. Coming off of it saved my life. You have got this. The irritability, raw nerves, insomnia/sleeplessness, those just mean your body is trying to catch up with the change, but it will pass soon. I promise!

    I’m currently on Bupropion and it has been doing wonders. Been on it for the last 3ish years. I know not everyone is the same/needs the same things, but I hope you find something that ends up working for you, whether it’s meds or no meds.

    I believe in you, you will get your own happy ending at the end of this chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Manda says:

    I had a similar experience coming off citalopram – the anger especially was so unlike me I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. But after a couple of weeks, I felt so much better!
    That stuff really didn’t work for me. I never wanted to be on drugs in the first place but I reached a point where I felt like I’d exhausted all other options. Citalopram made my head so fuzzy and my feelings so flat it was difficult to function, and the jolts in my head were distressing to say the least. I won’t be trying any more drugs, I don’t think.

    I’m not gonna say coming off leaves everything perfect – I’m still depressed and it still messes me up, but I’m a real person with feelings and I can think clearly and rationalise my problems and the world around me; that’s worth far more to me than just feeling more or less ok all the time. I like to believe we’ll all find our balance eventually, and you seem to have a lot of people around you who’d do anything to help. I’m sure that’ll make it easier, and it’s something you can really focus and build on. Hope things go well for you!

    Liked by 1 person

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